Evida’s Reflection

Well, I am sure as internet worthy adults and fellow book lovers, we all have the capacity to distinguish fact from fiction.

This subject of  dominance, mistreatment, aggressiveness,  jealousy, possessiveness, etc. Is a common subject or theme, in romantic fiction, be it in written or television. It’s okay, at the end of the day, we do not want to lead a bitter and boring life without entertainment, because we view that some actions or behaviors are unacceptable. Let’s face it, these thing construct drama and story, and that’s what we need, problems and angst in a novel or drama, and not in our own life. Reading and watching it happen in fantasy land and not in real life. That actually allows us to reflect on “what not to do” “how not to live”, and also on what’s “Right” and what’s “Wrong”.

There are a lot of subject that is quite blurry in the standard of being right or being wrong, depending on our background, education, and the norms we grew up with. But there is one thing that is at least in my point of view, a universal standard:


Reading the last two chapters, we are shown the possessiveness and control that Jin Cheng exerts over Ji Qing. Whilst it may seem romantic reading about it, believe me, living through it is a different story all together. Any woman who chooses to be married has the right to having her own idea, has the right to work if she wants to and follow her career path, as much as having the right to be a stay at home mom, if she desires to and find that this is her calling. But without being obligated and forced to by others.

Granted, in the novel thus far, we see that a lot of problems in this marriage was caused due to misunderstanding and miscommunication. But that is something that I find naturally occurring when a woman is afraid to convey her thoughts, because of fear that usually is an effect of psychological oppression. This includes: indifference, intolerance, abandonment, and isolation.

I don’t condone the act of dragging, pushing, yelling, and hitting objects to show anger. This is also a form of violence, as it inflicts fear and intimidation to the other party.

I think positively about our heroine when she decided to sign the divorce paper and leave, and the end of the day change is in our own hands, and we can make change, and sometimes in an “abusive” relationship, standing up and walking away is the best course of action. Although in the story there is a redemption path due to this, but again, this type of situation is romantic in fiction but not in real life. Ladies, please be aware.

Anyway, I do not want to spoil the fun in reading this e-novel, again this is an enjoyable work of fiction, I just wanted to bring the issue of violence against women to people’s attention, to help raise awareness.

For those of you who are going through a situation of domestic violence, please do not suffer in silence, you are not alone, there are many who are willing to extend a helping hand.

Also please remember:

  • Marital oppression is NOT OKAY, tolerance to a spouse’s annoying habits and being oppressed are two different things.
  • An abusive husband will not change by himself, some level of intervention is needed, do not be afraid to seek help.
  • Leaving is not always the right answer, you may be living in circumstances that prevent this, for any types of reason or causes, I understand completely. But when it is necessary, do not hesitate to do so. Sometimes your life and that of your children depend on it.

Anyway, if anybody in this reading this feels that they need somebody to talk to someone, who will not judge, and will not pressure you to take action, but will be sympathetic and understanding, feel free to use the contact me page.

One thing you need to know: I am a survivor of domestic violence, it wasn’t easy for me to live through it, and it wasn’t easy for me to escape it, but I did. And you can too!

2 thoughts on “Evida’s Reflection

  1. I salute you for coming out. I know it is not easy especially when you are recalling the painful memories.

    How do you really manage to pull out with four kids?

    I will be there for you as a silent supporter

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